I used to believe that God was some kind of non-personal, universal energy, and that there was no ultimate truth. I picked bits and pieces of truth from the Bible, some from other religions with reincarnation, some from philosophy, and mixed it all up together to suit me. 

However, Jesus began to knock on my door during a holiday to Medjugorje, a small town in Bosnia. The town is filled with praying pilgrims and I wanted to know what all the fuss was about. Throughout the whole town there was an atmosphere of faith. I saw miracles take place. Suddenly Jesus became real to me and was very present there. It almost felt like he was walking around the streets with a physical body! The light I saw in the eyes of the people there that blew me away. They definitely had something I did not have. However, I was not prepared to surrender and call myself a Christian. Christianity had too many rules and regulations!

Five months later I went tramping near Wanaka and spent a night in Meg Hut. I found a Bible from an organisation called Seek Freedom and spent the evening reading it.  It was as if God was speaking directly to me! 

That evening I read a lot about sin in the Bible and found that the so-called Christian rules and regulations were actually for our protection because God loves us. The Bible showed me that Jesus was very real and personal and that I was accountable to him! I really wanted to follow Jesus there and then, but my ego was screaming. If I believed what the Bible said, that meant that I was not always right, like I had thought I was, and that the Bible held the ultimate truth. I did not want to disappoint God or compromise my integrity by not being able to be a "good Christian". I wanted to prove to God and myself that I could follow the rules and "be good" before I committed my life to Christ. I returned home with the intention of "being good". Little did I know that it does not work that way!

A month later I went out to buy groceries with a Christian friend and started talking about trying to "be good" in order to be acceptable to God. I told her that I was afraid of being tempted, doing something wrong, and lose my personal integrity. She told me that in Corinthians 10:13 God promises us that he will not tempt us beyond what we can bear, and that he will provide a way out of that temptation. I realised that I did not have to be afraid of disappointing God because he would actually help me maintain my integrity. I made the decision to follow Jesus.

I am amazed at what has happened to me since making that decision. God has blessed me and taken very good care of me in every possible way. I am not saying, I do not have hard times anymore - of course I do - but now I have faith in a very good friend, Jesus, who looks out for me! 

Thank you,