Two years ago I travelled around the world and came to New Zealand. I fell instantly in love with this beautiful country. After 3 months here, when my holiday was over, I had to return to my old life in Denmark, but I just knew I had to come back to New Zealand!

In Denmark I was very involved in the New Age movement. I believed that God was some kind of non-personal, universal energy, and that there was no ultimate truth. I picked bits and pieces of truth from the Bible, some from other religions with reincarnation, some from philosophy, and mixed it all up together to suit me. However, Jesus began to knock on my door.

I went on holiday to Medjugorje, a small town in Bosnia. The Virgin Mary had apparently been showing herself there since 1981 according to the Catholic Church. The town is filled with praying pilgrims and I wanted to know what all the fuss was about. Throughout the whole town there was an atmosphere of faith. I saw miracles take place. Suddenly Jesus became real to me and was very present there. It almost felt like he was walking around the streets with a physical body! The light I saw in the eyes of the people there I had never seen in the eyes of people involved in New Age. They definitely had something I did not have. I went home with peace in my heart because I had met Jesus, but I did no more about it because I was busy preparing to return to New Zealand - and by the way, I thought, who wants to be a Christian? Christianity had too many rules and regulations!

I arrived in New Zealand and had a great time! I went skiing and tramping, and then I started working in Dunedin. I did start going to church, but I was not very committed. One weekend I went tramping on my own and spent a night alone in Meg Hut where I found a Bible from an organisation called Seek Freedom. I spent the evening reading it, and it was as if God was speaking directly to me! I had lost faith in social morals, like "holy matrimony". Why save yourself for your one and only husband when you divorced him anyway only a few years later?

That evening I read a lot about sin in the Bible and found that the so-called Christian rules and regulations were actually for our protection because God loves us. The Bible showed me that Jesus was very real and personal and that I was accountable to him! I really wanted to follow Jesus there and then, but my ego was screaming. If I believed what the Bible said, that meant that I was not always right, like I had thought I was, and that the Bible held the ultimate truth. I did not want to disappoint God or compromise my integrity by not being able to be a "good Christian". I wanted to prove to God and myself that I could follow the rules and "be good" before I committed my life to Christ. I returned to Dunedin with the intention of "being good". Little did I know that it does not work that way!

A month later I went out to buy groceries with a Christian friend and started talking about trying to "be good" in order to be acceptable to God. I told her that I was afraid of being tempted, doing something wrong, and lose my personal integrity. She told me that in Corinthians 10:13 God promises us that he will not tempt us beyond what we can bear, and that he will provide a way out of that temptation. I realised that I did not have to be afraid of disappointing God because he would actually help me maintain my integrity. I made the decision to follow Jesus.

I am amazed at what has happened to me since making that decision. God has blessed me and taken very good care of me in every possible way. I am not saying, I do not have hard times anymore - of course I do. It is hard to be on your own 18,000 km from home, and life is not always easy, but now I have a very good friend in Jesus who looks out for me! For example, two weeks after I became a Christian, it was Christmas. In Denmark we celebrate on Christmas Eve, but this Christmas Eve I was going to sit all by myself in my flat while everybody else would be going home to their family. I decided I would celebrate by buying some fish for my lonely Christmas Eve dinner.

While standing at the fish counter in the supermarket, looking at the last two pieces of fish available, a woman came running through the supermarket with her trolley, grabbed both pieces of fish before my very nose, and ran off! At the same instant over the loudspeakers came the song "I'll Be Home For Christmas" - ENOUGH! It looked like it was going to be the worst Christmas of my life. I said to God that he could have this evening, because it was no good to me! I went to my work as usual in the library. Half an hour before I finished work a Danish family came into the library to check their e-mails. They were the first Danes I had seen in two months! We started talking and they invited me to spend Christmas Eve with them. It was the greatest Christmas I've had in years! That's what happens when you give your evening to God. I started trusting him with more and more of my life, and he has never let me down!

I have been in New Zealand now for 10 months and have been a Christian for the last 7 months. Next week I am going back to Denmark, but I am going back as a new person. Now I have hope, peace in my heart, and a special light in my eyes!

July 2005